Definitions - Wanting to have or Wanting to do--the difference
Tuesday Night Talks "Attitudes" Newport Beach 10-21-80*
(*Audience participation is in parentheses--notations in brackets have been added for clarification )
[We join the workshop as Dr. Bob says:]
He can change his attitude now. Anybody can change their attitude and the attitude is about what you have. Some people have the attitude that this is a very nice world. It's a bowl of cherries and to hell with the pits. There's other people that decide it's a bowl of pits and to hell with the cherries--I won't get any anyway. They'd be sour and they would have bugs and worms in them. So what good would it do to get 'em.
Even if you're about to get it you find all manner of fault with it--it's not as "ideal" as what I really want. So I can find fault with it.
I have had occasion, in the years gone by, to have somebody tell me that they absolutely wanted something--frequently for another person to be in their life and so forth. On occasion I have felt a little ornery streak and did it--and THEN you should hear the story. I haven't heard the last of it yet. They're still hollering at me about it.
I got what they asked for and probably the greatest misfortune that could happen to anybody is to get everything they wanted.
(Why?)
I'm going to get you everything you want, Mary.
(And then I'll have nothing to complain about.)
I'll bet the last nickel that I will make this year and all of them in between now and then that you will find something to complain about. Would you want to take a bet on that? I'll give you 4-1 odds. I'll give you 10-1 odds.
Next question out there?
(How does attitude determine your destiny?)
It goes exactly hand in hand with it. If you carry a certain attitude, you'll have that destiny to go with it--it's perfect karma, it balances.
(How is it done?)
I know not how it is done, I only told you how it is. I didn't bother with the story. I know the stories as well as you do that "it's all laid out for you before you were born--that you'll go down a certain path, and that all these things will happen to you,"-----------AND, if that be the case we have no business being here tonight cause we're merely acting out a piece of destiny and I'd rather be somewhere else--something shot on a film that will have to come out like it was, NO-------not on your sweet life.
I can have something to do about it every day, ok? So I don't buy the destiny as sometimes described. That is the stock and trade of fortune tellers. They HAVE to have it or they couldn't tell the future. They gotta get an advance view of the film [which is an illusion].
(What about those people up at the top?[I think this refers to those high on the tone scale])
I know about that. They can only see a little way down the road, and it's still not all the destiny and everything. You can change anything you want to. It's not your destiny to wind up any one place or do any certain thing, cause you do have--which seldom used--everybody has free agency and it's in very good shape because it's seldom used -- practically brand new.
You can act your potential out. Most people don't act out their potential, they allow it to be pushed around. They behave much like a ship thrown out there on the bay when the wind's blown' -- it tosses this way and that way. They say, "Well, it was my karma, my destiny or whatever [experience] got you there."
You're there because you're not doing something different. You have free agency or free choice; but as I said, it's practically brand new because it's seldom used. It would be well to exercise it a little bit and get some of the tarnish off of it.
(What happens if one of us asks you for something and then we're happy.)
Well, I suppose they're happy with it a day or two until they think of something else they want. I notice they call back two days later and thought of something bigger. That was so damn easy, let's find another one. They call up and they want a half a mil dollars. They get that, they think that was so easy they call up and ask for five. I notice it doesn't help very well, because they don't stay happy more than a few minutes.
A man told me one time that you buy a new car for 30 minutes of good feeling--otherwise you'd get out and fix the other one you have and go on. But for 30 minutes you really feel wonderful. For that 30 minutes you spend thousands of dollars on a new car.
(What about if you still felt good much later?)
Well it would be nice if you do; but I have observed that pretty soon there is another want or a desire that gets up that was just as heavy as the one that's been gratified. Did you notice that?
(Supposing it's not that heavy.)
I didn't say it was heavy--just keep on asking and we'll keep filling the orders, ok? You want anything and everything. I figured that out a long time ago. I want everything--I settled that one day and now I don't have to bother with what I want anymore. I already know, I want everything--that took care of it.
Now I don't have to go through my day thinking I want this, or I want that because I already know--I want everything--I just don't want it all at once because I couldn't handle it.
(You'd be pleased if you had everything you want.)
I don't mind being pleased and I don't have to be pleased every moment either.
(I didn't say anything about have to.)
Don't you get everything you ask for. You call up, you get it. There's nothing wrong with it. I don't ever say there's anything wrong with anything, Mary. Have you been coming all this time and think that I'm still saying that some things are right and some things are wrong? I don't have the foggiest idea what's right and wrong. I never said anything is right or wrong. Nobody here has ever heard me say anything was right or wrong. You've known me several days, and have you ever heard me say something is right or wrong--not on your sweet life. I don't know. I'm just describing.
I just describe what goes on--I'm not putting out any moralistic statements of what's bad, what's right, what's wrong, I haven't the foggiest and furthermore, I don't care. I've no concern with it. If I want to go do something, I go do it.
When I was a kid I found how to get out of feeling guilty, real quick. If you feel guilty about doing something, go do it twice more real quick and then you won't feel guilty about it anymore.
So, we're back to attitude and we can have any attitude we want to that we so choose to have. Now it's up to each individual to choose the one they want. I'm certainly not recommending any one. I only describe how they work.
If you have certain attitudes, you feel miserable most of the time. If you have other kinds of attitudes, you feel pretty good most of the time. You've tried them both and it works that way. I'm not saying it's bad to be in the pit all the time, or even the sub-pit. I have no objection to people being there. If they weren't, I probably wouldn't make as much money as I do.
(I heard a statement once that Life gives you everything you can ………)
And sometimes Life gives you a little more. Life lays out everything for you--every conceivable situation. It gives you all the "for instance" lessons any body wants to learn, if you can but see it. Now what you want to do is learn to look--IF you want to profit by it. Nobody says you should do it, ought to do it or that it's right or wrong to do it. Life has every kind of circumstance going on out there where you can look at it
[Here's another excerpt about the difference between "having" and "doing." ]
Maryland 12/3/78 workshop #9 & 10
(Bob, yesterday when you were talking about, for instance, an occupation and making a contribution is what I DO. If I am standing alone in a field, and walking, and I'm just enjoying the experience, am I "doing" or am I "having" at the moment.)
You're doing at that moment-------and you are having. They usually go together. You are doing what you wanted to do at the moment, just take a walk out the beautiful sunny field with the flowers and etc.
(But I'm not making a contribution.)
Oh yes you are, you're enjoying yourself, and that radiates hundreds of miles, ok? And you also have a very desirable state of being, you have a natural state of your being. So, basically, always when we are "doing", the having is a by-product.
Now had you went out to be sure you'd have a good feeling, you'd be so busy watching to see if you were, you wouldn't see the flowers.
So we always start with "doing", but automatically, or as a by-product, we have. So you went out just to take a walk, we'll say; enjoy getting out of the house and being out in the open, and the by-product was, you have a wonderful feeling. And that radiates far away, so it does many things for many people; and you are contributing to Life--especially that one. ok?